How Nominalizations Steal Vigor from Your Writing
Stories are a powerful way to communicate information. Our brains are hard-wired to recognize stories. While scientific writers may not use lively language in the same way as fiction writers, we can better engage our readers by telling a clear, compelling story.
Good stories have characters (nouns) that act (verbs). Verbs that show action make writing clear and vigorous, while verbs that bury the action are weak and can confuse readers. By pairing concrete nouns with strong verbs (preferably next to each other in a sentence), you can deliver an engaging story about your work.
A common failing in scientific writing is to blur the line between nouns and verbs by morphing verbs (and sometimes adjectives) into nominalizations. This process robs our writing of energy and clarity.
Nominalizations derived from verbs
Most commonly, nominalizations are crafted from verbs.
Example 1.1
We conducted an investigation of the effect of elevated estrogen on cell proliferation.
In this sentence, the verb is conducted. This verb is vague, and it steals the energy from the more powerful verb investigated.
A more compelling—and concise—way to rephrase the sentence is:
Example 1.2
We investigated the effect of elevated estrogen on cell proliferation.
This version is clearer and makes a more compelling statement, all while reducing the length of the text.
Let’s look at another example.
Example 2.1
Intravenous injection of the drug appears to be the fastest method of administration; however, limited diffusion of the drug across the blood-brain barrier may act as a constraint on its effectiveness.
In this example, the only verbs are appears, to be, and act. These vague verbs mask the vigorous actions found in the verbs inject, administer, diffuse, and constrain.
We can convert many of those nominalizations into verbs to create a more concise and compelling sentence.
Example 2.2
The fastest way to administer the drug is to inject it intravenously; however, if the drug does not diffuse across the blood-brain barrier, this treatment will fail.
To craft a sentence with the minimum possible punch, the following example adds passive voice.
Example 3.1
Although drugs exist to slow the progression of kidney disease, a failure to cure the condition is often observed.
In this example, the important point is that the drugs fail to cure the condition. But in this sentence, the nominalization failure requires a verb, which takes the form of the weak passive phrase is often observed.
This example can be rewritten to yield a more concise and compelling sentence.
Example 3.2
Although drugs exist to slow the progression of kidney disease, they often fail to cure the condition.
Nominalizations created from adjectives
Another form of nominalization involves converting an adjective into a noun. This form also steals the energy from your writing.
Example 4.1
The characteristics of this condition are the inhibition of carbohydrate breakdown, an accumulation of residues, and the disruption of cell function.
In this example, the nominalized adjectives are characteristics, inhibition, accumulation, and disruption.
By converting the nominalizations to adjectives, you can make the sentence sharper.
Example 4.2
This condition is characterized by inhibited carbohydrate breakdown, accumulated residues, and disrupted cell function.
Sometimes you will need several steps to fix a nominalized adjective.
Example 5
Step 1: There was a difference between the toxicity rates of drugs A and B.
Step 2: Toxicity rates were different between drugs A and B.
Step 3: Toxicity rates differed between drugs A and B.
These sentences give the same information using a version of the verb differ. In Step 1, differ appears as the nominalization difference, which requires the weak verb was. In Step 2, the nominalization is converted to the adjective different, which requires the weak verb were. Step 3 used the verb differed, creating the shortest, clearest, and most compelling sentence.
When nominalizations are good
Nominalizations are not always bad. They can be a powerful tool for naming concepts or describing a complex idea in a few words. Could you imagine explaining the terms gene mutation, protein expression, and muscle relaxation every time you used them?
The danger in using nominalizations lies in when you assume your reader already understands the concept. If your reader does not understand the concept, then the nominalization becomes jargon. To avoid this danger zone, know your audience and when you can safely use an nominalizations.
The bottom line
Sometimes nominalizations are essential or will strengthen your writing. But when they are not used carefully, they can be confusing to readers. Know your audience and when you can safely use nominalizations.
When editing your writing, scan your text for unnecessary nominalizations. You can often find them with the suffix -tion, but they can be masked with other suffixes, such as -ing, -ment, and -ence. Convert the unnecessary nominalizations into verbs (or adjectives) to add clarity and vigor to your writing.
