How Running Starts Can Leave Your Reader Behind
In effective scientific and medical writing, authors will smoothly lead readers from one idea to the next. Ideally, they will move with their readers, guiding them through complex concepts and ideas. But when authors get a running start, they get ahead of their readers and risk leaving them behind.
What is a running start?
Running starts do not have a previous referent, or something that was previously mentioned. The most common expletive pronouns to watch for are there and it.
More formally, running starts are known as expletives (not the profane kind). In grammar, expletives are used as filler—or empty—words that do not add meaning to your text. These unnecessary words can be detrimental to your writing.
Why are running starts detrimental to clear writing?
Running starts have several weaknesses. First, they occupy the place where readers expect to see the noun or subject of a sentence. By placing a running start in this position, your reader must predict (even guess) what the sentence is about, slowing their processing. This task also creates more work for readers, violating the number one writing principle of making the reader’s job easy.
Also, running starts create wordy phrases that work against clarity and increase your word count. Running starts also often use a weak verb, draining the sentence of its power, and passive voice, which weakens the story. All these factors are lethal to clear writing.
How can you revise running starts?
When revising a sentence with a running start, identify the true subject of the sentence. Then place that subject at the beginning of the sentence, right next to a verb.
Example 1
Avoid: It has been shown that cells treated with the compound migrated into the wound area. (15 words)
Preferred: Researchers showed that cells treated with the compound migrated into the wound area. (13 words)
Also preferred: Cells treated with the compound migrated into the wound area. (10 words)
Example 2
Avoid: It is critical that we find more effective therapies for breast cancer. (12 words)
Preferred: We must find more effective therapies for breast cancer. (9 words)\
Also preferred: Patients need more effective therapies for breast cancer. (8 words)
Example 3
Avoid: There was a correlation between high blood pressure and myocardial infarction in patients treated with the drug. (17 words)
Preferred: We found a correlation between high blood pressure and myocardial infarction in patients treated with the drug. (17 words)
Also preferred: High blood pressure correlated with myocardial infarction in patients treated with the drug. (13 words)
Example 4
Avoid: There are four main principles that comprise the guidelines. (9 words)
Preferred: Four main principles comprise the guidelines. (6 words)
Also preferred: The guidelines include four main principles. (6 words)
How can you spot running starts?
You are likely used to seeing running starts, so you may have difficulty spotting this construction in your writing. Take advantage of the “Find” feature in your writing software to search for “there” and “it.” Then revise the sentence to ensure that you have a clear subject or referent.
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